i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have aggressive nipples.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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