that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
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I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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