I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
