I just pynch a tree in the face
ugly people sure do ruin things
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
