The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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