Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
