I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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