giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
