No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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