Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
