There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
