i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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