but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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