never play flip cup with pint glasses
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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