The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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