JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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