By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
