i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
