My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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