This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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