just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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