I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
