hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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