Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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