They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
