a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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