Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We just shotgunned beers for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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