i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
