ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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