Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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