And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
