Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
