I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Enjoy the penises
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
