no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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