oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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