I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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