3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
