Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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