Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
