I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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