My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize