So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
