next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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