He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
