Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sober January is a disaster.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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