ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
