No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
