Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
