New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Randomize
