Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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