So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
