STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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