Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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