it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
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...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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