I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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