hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
