Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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