it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
As shirtless as possible
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
