After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
