worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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