He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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