I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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