More tranny stories later!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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